Noah’s Ark is a disaster


A few weeks ago, I bought Noah’s Ark story book for one of my nephews and read it to him.  For those who don’t know the story of Noah’s Ark, here’s a quick summary : Everyone on Earth except Noah and his family became very sinful.  So God commands Noah to build an ark, take his family and a pair of every kind of animal with him on board because there will be a great flood.  The heavy rain flooded the earh for 40 days thus wiping out everyone.  After the flood, Noah sent out a dove to check to see if its safe to disembark.  The dove came back with an olive branch which indicates that its safe.  God puts up a rainbow to show his promise not to destroy the earth again by flood.  Noah and his family started the world over again.

At the end of the story :

Nephew :  Did God let all the children drown in the flood too?

Me :  Uhmm….No, the thing is right before the flood God snapped his finger and all the innocent children were magically transported back to heaven.

Nephew : What’s transported?

Me : God carried them back to heaven.  (Nephew looked at me with dropped jaw and curious eyebrows, so I added )  Using his big invisible hands.

Nephew : Did the lions and crocodiles eat the animals in the boat?

Me : Huh? No…God magically made all the animals in the ark behave themselves.  No one got hungry, everyone were praying and had faith in God.

Nephew: Why did God want to save only 2 dogs how about their babies?

Me : ( think think think ….) The puppies were also magically transported to heaven.

Nephew : Also the baby chicks?

Me : Yes

Nephew : also the baby panda ?

Me : yes

Nephew : Baby animals are not allowed in the boat?

Me : They are too small, they might get squashed. ( thinking “shit what kind of an answer is that”) Ok! Lets go out and play!

Nephew : The tigers are not hungry so Noah was not eaten.

Me : That’s right…

So that night I find myself thinking about how I answered my Nephews’ questions, have I answered them according to his best interest.  I googled ” how to explain Noah’s ark to kids ” but could not find answers to my Nephews’ question, and I also had several confusing questions that led me to conclude that believing in Noah’s Ark is an absolute ludicrous and shouldn’t be told to children.  Unless you want to tell them how God magically cleaned the poops of those animals in the ark, I say just hide the book.

Here’s something else to think about

1. The Bible says that Noah saved a pair of each type of animals — but did he bring extra to feed the carnivores?

2. The flood may be the cause of the dinosaurs extinction — but then the Bible does not say that any animal missed the ark.

3. Why did God have to kill majority of his creations thru lengthly flood if ( as we believe ) he could do it simply with a snap of his finger. — limited omnipotence

4.  Kids are innocent, do they deserve to die in such a way ( drowning ) ? — I think not

5.  The entire earth was flooded for several days, I’m pretty sure no land plant can/will survive after that.  But right after the flood subsided where did the dove get the olive branch? — speedy evolution

6. After the flood the only people left on earth was Noah’s family.  How did they populate the earth? — incest

7. God said he will not destroy us again with flood.  Is that why in the book of Revelation it says on judgment day “the elements will be destroyed by fire?” — No thanks!