Noah’s Ark is a disaster

 

A few weeks ago, I bought Noah’s Ark story book for one of my nephews and read it to him.  For those who don’t know the story of Noah’s Ark, here’s a quick summary : Everyone on Earth except Noah and his family became very sinful.  So God commands Noah to build an ark, take his family and a pair of every kind of animal with him on board because there will be a great flood.  The heavy rain flooded the earh for 40 days thus wiping out everyone.  After the flood, Noah sent out a dove to check to see if its safe to disembark.  The dove came back with an olive branch which indicates that its safe.  God puts up a rainbow to show his promise not to destroy the earth again by flood.  Noah and his family started the world over again.

At the end of the story :

Nephew :  Did God let all the children drown in the flood too?

Me :  Uhmm….No, the thing is right before the flood God snapped his finger and all the innocent children were magically transported back to heaven.

Nephew : What’s transported?

Me : God carried them back to heaven.  (Nephew looked at me with dropped jaw and curious eyebrows, so I added )  Using his big invisible hands.

Nephew : Did the lions and crocodiles eat the animals in the boat?

Me : Huh? No…God magically made all the animals in the ark behave themselves.  No one got hungry, everyone were praying and had faith in God.

Nephew: Why did God want to save only 2 dogs how about their babies?

Me : ( think think think ….) The puppies were also magically transported to heaven.

Nephew : Also the baby chicks?

Me : Yes

Nephew : also the baby panda ?

Me : yes

Nephew : Baby animals are not allowed in the boat?

Me : They are too small, they might get squashed. ( thinking “shit what kind of an answer is that”) Ok! Lets go out and play!

Nephew : The tigers are not hungry so Noah was not eaten.

Me : That’s right…

So that night I find myself thinking about how I answered my Nephews’ questions, have I answered them according to his best interest.  I googled ” how to explain Noah’s ark to kids ” but could not find answers to my Nephews’ question, and I also had several confusing questions that led me to conclude that believing in Noah’s Ark is an absolute ludicrous and shouldn’t be told to children.  Unless you want to tell them how God magically cleaned the poops of those animals in the ark, I say just hide the book.

Here’s something else to think about

1. The Bible says that Noah saved a pair of each type of animals — but did he bring extra to feed the carnivores?

2. The flood may be the cause of the dinosaurs extinction — but then the Bible does not say that any animal missed the ark.

3. Why did God have to kill majority of his creations thru lengthly flood if ( as we believe ) he could do it simply with a snap of his finger. — limited omnipotence

4.  Kids are innocent, do they deserve to die in such a way ( drowning ) ? — I think not

5.  The entire earth was flooded for several days, I’m pretty sure no land plant can/will survive after that.  But right after the flood subsided where did the dove get the olive branch? — speedy evolution

6. After the flood the only people left on earth was Noah’s family.  How did they populate the earth? — incest

7. God said he will not destroy us again with flood.  Is that why in the book of Revelation it says on judgment day “the elements will be destroyed by fire?” — No thanks!

 

 

 

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30 thoughts on “Noah’s Ark is a disaster

  1. The many mysteries of the bible I guess…my girls are too fascinated with the pictures of elephants and giraffes they don’t listen to anything when we read the story of Noah to them from their kiddie bible…then again, they are 2.

    You handled it well with your nephew I must say :).

  2. You make some very valid points….one of the reasons that I’ve always been awkward to discuss religion. I’d often stay up nights wondering the same things when I was a kid…like your nephew, I think it’s a sign on a good thinking mind…I’ve always liked when people weren’t afraid to question what they are told…wonderful story…and yes I think you handled it well. 🙂

    • Thanks Mei. Yes kids ask the best questions, my rules is if you don’t know the answer leave it to “magic.” Haha 🙂

  3. Hahaha! Kids are so cute, they ask the funniest questions! I think under the circumstances you did pretty good =P

    Btw, would you be so kind as to leave a 10-word-or-less description of your blog for my new page dedicated to my readers, please? (http://yourdailydoseblog.com/2012/10/11/a-page-dedicated-to-my-readers-your-blogs-please-help-me-finish-it-by-describing-your-blog-in-10-words-or-less/).

    Would love for people to know what your blog is about! Thx 🙂

  4. Superb post, absolutely wonderful? Inaccuracy and vagueness in the Bible, huh? Two ways to look at that really, either it is just stories or there are gaps for our own selves to question and find answers too. How interesting would it all be if we were given the answers to “everything” without the need for self discovery? Thanks for the post and kudos to your nephew who sounds wise beyond his years!

    • Given the answer to everything? Hmm..Either it would be way too easy or not. Because the concept of Faith will not exist. And Im not sure if thats a good thing. Thank you very much !

  5. (sorry the question mark at the end of my first sentence was a mistake and not a sarcastic one!!) It should have been an exclamation mark !!!!! 🙂 Love the post!

  6. Good observations! I do find that the bible can be so confusing in its accounts and such but I quite like how you laid it all out and yes kids are so curious! They have a million and one questions for the simplest of things!

  7. Don’t ever try explaining Easter either…it’ll make your head ache. Even if you have a good understanding yourself, it’s hard to put it into kiddie talk! I like the way you let your nephews be the story tellers in the end! 🙂

  8. That was not an easy undertaking in the slightest. Still, thank you for the hilarious blog. It was adorable, if adorable was the correct description for children who think. 😉

      • Regret nothing, take pride in things, it goes to show their minds are active and healthy. It means they’ll be able to think for themselves and critically for things that may be important. If anything, it’s a source of strength. 😉

  9. I can so relate to this; having been unceremoniously asked to leave my mother’s church at the age of 13 for having the audacity to question what my young mind saw as inconsistencies in the stories they told us in Sunday School, I know how you felt trying to explain things to your inquisitive young relative. I think you handled it as well as possible under the circumstances. Thumbs up to him, though, for having such an inquiring mind.

    • Thank you very much Charlie! I have to admit I’m not a very religious person. I just believe there is a higher power but no way to prove it so I just used “magic” as an excuse 🙂 Yes isn’t he the smartest 🙂

    • Ah yes, the Virgin birth, I know what you mean, that is even worst than Noah’s ark! I’ll leave it to my sister to explain 🙂

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